please insert coin!

...There's this video game where you have to steal a car and then i think u have to run from the police and while doing that you get to run over pedestrians or get out of the car and beat them till they bleed and then u get bonuses or something...What brought it to mind now? well, I' m just watching the news and one of the things that i saw was a conflict concerning who killed who, did Hamas kill those Israeli soldiers or did their fellow soldiers shoot them by mistake, imagine the pride they'd rather say that their friends shot them by mistake! that's sick! The thing is, they are dead, just like all these people are dead! And then it's just points added depending on who scored the most!
What is even more disturbing is that I can't stop watching the news! I'm not exaggerating! I watch the news the whole time, i research articles and videos.I became this insane person, this monster just asking for more information and i keep watching these horrifying pictures over and over again! Then, when i "must" socialize i take all my anger on the people around me (though some are just asking for it and they do deserve my wrath). I don't cry over the dead anymore. No, not even the dead children! When u get used to seeing the same thing over and over it becomes normal...I don't know what I'm expecting to see. More dead? How predictable and pathetic of me! Maybe I'm looking for inspiration? Here I go again!! 'sigh' 

Maybe the world is looking for inspiration. A push to actually stop this stupid war!! Are they really this helpless? these stupid people who dare call themselves kings or presidents or whatever the fuck they want to be called!!!! It is nothing but a name that they carry! I don't even know whether to be disgusted or angry or indifferent.. Maybe all together?! 

What do they want to see? I mean is there a specific number that they have in mind? If so, they should just go ahead and say it. Let's just do it in one day and get it over with! Just line up the people, women, children as long as we do not kill anyone with a gun! If we do we won't get the bonuses that I was talking about!! 

I watched all the photos of the dead children, in every angle possible! Well, i think i did. If anyone has new ones please don't hesitate to send them to me! U know after staring at them for a long time, they start to appear as if they are sleeping and that doesn't bother me as much! Maybe we are bothering them with our loud voices trying to wake up the "leaders". We are doing a better job at shaking these children from their deep "sleep". This was not the objective of the game! or was it? If it was, then each was playing according to their own rules, so who wins at the end? Well, if there were different rules then there will probably be different scores! 

I know who wins at  the the end! The dead children! They won't have to grow up wondering about the rules of a new game, where all the players are nothing but useless, pretentious fucks!!

They win, we lose every time. Game over!

animal planet

...I once saw on TV, not so long ago really, it was i think animal planet, a group of rhinos (around 20 of them) "hanging out" all together. You know, a typical hot day for a rhino, just chilling in the sun eating here and there..Then 3 or 4 lions attack them and they end up catching one of them, the smallest one, a baby. All the other rhinos just run in different directions each trying to get away, to save its life. Then they all gather around in one spot, not far from the baby rhino and the lions. They all just watch, wait to see what is to happen to the baby rhino which was still alive but fighting for its life, trying to get away. Just as soon as baby rhino starts giving up, and to my surprise and surely to the lions' as well, all the other rhinos run together, in the same direction attacking the lions and saving baby rhino! Interesting? Well, what is interesting really is that these are animals (real animals, I'm not insulting human beings, at least not yet)!
So, now what? We should be looking up to rhinos? try to evolve and be like them??! seriously!
I don't think it's an easy thing to do, let me tell you, it needs hard work. I don't think we are up to it! Apparently it takes us more than 500 dead people to start thinking about doing something! Yes! I know that the people are doing whatever they can, all over the world, i know it is not up to us to change anything. It's the leaders' jobs right? It is! I mean that's why they are called leaders! They LEAD us! It doesn't matter where they lead us, the most important thing is that they do!
I'm so inconsiderate I know! They are trying real hard to "invite" Israel to stop the holocaust. Oh no, Hitler's was just a sample, just a preview, an introduction. This is a holocaust just a more modern one! Anyway, let's get back to that invitation. The leaders are inviting Israeli murderers to stop the killing, and then they invite again and again..but poor israel has a curfew, a dead line and cannot possibly be invited to do anything!
A dear friend of mine, Mazen, imagined what an invitation letter to Olmert would be like, this is what he wrote (u never know , it might be an inspiration to the leaders) :

"Dear Mister Olmert,

How are you? I hope you are doing great. I surely hope you have the time to read my letter. I don’t want to disturb you if you are busy doing something productive. But in case you have some time to kill instead of Palestinians, I would be elated if you can read my letter.
My name is Amro, and I’m 71 years old. I’m the spokesperson of the Arab League. I love my job because it looks like I fix things. We are going to go to the Security Council soon but don’t worry, we won’t do anything. We’re going with the Libyans. Can you imagine that?
But really, beni w benak, the massacre in Gaza, isn’t it too much?
No?
You don’t think so?
Because we think it’s too much.
No?
Ok.

Thank you mister Olmert

Amro
Kisses

XX"

I'm watching the news (what else would i watch these days?!), the anchor of Al-Jazeera is interviewing Perez.. I have one serious question! What the fuck is Perez on?! what kind of drugs is he using? The dude lives in his own bubble. No really! he lives in his own world, he convinces himself that he is the chosen one, u know sent on earth to save us all! he is our savior!! He believes his lies..I think that is the sweetest thing ever, don't u?

Well, that makes me sick! He denies killing children! He actually said "we are not killing children". He says that he was on good terms with Lebanon before. Does he mean in 1982?
I really can't keep up anymore. What is a "terrorist"? Ooops, sorry, did i say "what" is? I meant what is the identity of the terrorist.. They should have a list at the airports, borders, public places really! Just so that we know when we dare to go somewhere other than the Arab world!
"A simple sign would do, you don't have to push me like this, no need for the insults, no need to stare, u don't have to break my jaw, hit me in the eye or even kill me (no it's ok, if they kill you, it is not considered terrorism, they are not Arabs). I understand you are trying to keep planet earth terror free. really! i would love to cooperate! yes i will gladly wear the tag! "
Ukh! That just makes me sick!

'sigh'.... The reason I started this blog was simply because I had 3 choices (some don't even have this luxury I know, but really they r stupid useless choices, well 2 of them). I was either going to keep crying over these outrageous killings, break the TV set every time i saw a useless Arab leader "inviting" Israel or every time i heard Livny the heartless bitter bitch blab, or start a blog and try to speak my mind out channel all the negativity that I'm feeling into something a bit more constructive!

I had a small argument with another dear friend of mine the other day. He is originally from Iran who lives in the USA. He was explaining to me that i have to love everyone, no matter what, that we are all brothers and sisters.. I didn't agree. I still don't! I'm not the prophet. I'm not Jesus Christ. I'm not superwoman..I'm only human. I'm fragile, passionate and emotional. I'm not saying that i should hate. I'm only saying that i should feel. Why should there be black or white? I'm sure there is gray! How can i be ok with all these killings? it just needs common sense to know where to stand! to know who or what to fight for! That same friend reminded me of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream". He said that if we want something we can make it happen. I said that we stopped having dreams, now we have nightmares!

please check this out:
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/mark-steel/
mark-steel-so-what-have-the-palestinians-got-to-complain-about-1218135.html.

www.nkusa.org